A DAY IN THE LIFE...

Today I spent my day at home with a sick child. It was a blessing in disguise. I have been tremendously busy the last few months. In the last 10 days we have conducted a Community Awards Luncheon/Kettle Kick-off (180 people), began a kettle campaign that has to raise $450,000.00, did a corps Thanksgiving Dinner (200 people), and busily bought hundreds of gifts for people in our community. Today I spent the day with my sick daughter wrapping those gifts.

On the docket for this week is finding volunteers to work at our Angel Tree table in the Mall. It has to be manned the entire time the mall is open. Of course I have nobody to do the early shift the day after Thanksgiving, so I will be there at 6:00am and work until 10:00am. I also have to purchase gifts for all of our employees (about 40). Jim and I committed to buying gifts (rather than giftcards) so that we could add a personal touch.... quite a task. I have an advent devotional to write, a chapel to decorate, an employee party to plan, an advisory board party to plan, and of course the morning worship services. Most of this has to be done in the next 10 days, then I get to begin on a new list of "to do's" for weeks 2-4 in December.

In all honesty, I am shot! I love what I am doing though. I have desperately tried to stay in the Word and look to those little interuptions in the season as blessings rather than annoyances. There are a million things that have to be done, and I still have to be there and prepared to deal with broken people. These broken people can be considered interuptions in my life of "to do's", yet the reality is that they are the things that keep me going. I am good at business. I can handle all the things I mentioned before. I can do most of the professional things an officer must do. I cannot handle all the brokenness though... only God can. So I sit back and let God bring me those things that cause me to pause and get stressed out a bit, the interuptions, because I know that I cannot handle these things without Him and His power.

I've been reading Philip Yancey's new book on Prayer. I have only been able to do two to three pages a day as of late, but I'm hanging in there. I came across a prayer that I'd like to share.

A Franciscan Benediction

May God bless you with discomfort
At easy answers, half-truths, and superficial relationships
So that you may live deep within your heart.

May God bless you with anger
At injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people,
So that you may work for justice, freedom and peace.

May God bless you with tears
To shed for those who suffer pain, rejection, hunger and war,
So that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and
To turn their pain to joy.

And may God bless you with enough foolishness
To believe that you can make a difference in the world,
So that you can do what others claim cannot be done
To bring justice and kindness to all our children and the poor.

Amen

Why God Made Little Boys

This Sunday is Adventure Corps Sunday at our corps. I have the wonderful opportunity to deliver God's Word to our congregation.

I have spent the last few days thinking about little boys. Little boys are very different from little girls! I know that is an understatement.

I came across this poem as I have been preparing for my sermon.

Why God Made Little Boys

GOD MADE A WORLD OUT OF HIS DREAMS,

Of magic mountains, oceans and streams,

Prairies and plains and wooded land.

Then paused and thought, "I need someone to stand,

On top of the mountains, to conquer the seas,

Explore the plains and climb the trees.

Someone to start out small and grow,

Sturdy and stong like a tree" and so

He created boys, full of spirit and fun

To explore and conquer, to romp and run.

With dirty faces and banged up chins,

With courageous hearts and boyish grins.

And when He completed the task He'd begun,

He surely said, "That's a job well done."

(author unknown)

I have a new appreciation for my son in recent days. He is growing so fast both physically and intellectually. He is seeing life and figuring out his place in the world. He is doing so well.

In all honesty, I wasn't sure I would be a good mom to a boy. I was very nervous about having a son. You don't really get much choice in the matter though, and praise the Lord for that. I don't know where I'd be without my little boy. He has truly taught me to laugh and to find the joy in life.

I know someday he will be a man. A part of me looks forward to that day when I can see who he becomes. Another part of me has already started to grieve for the little boy who is quickly disappearing. I thank God daily for him and today in particular I entrust my son into the hands of the Lord once again.

Rambling Thoughts & Emotions

The following post is simply my rambling thoughts for the day. A lot of emotions have surfaced today and I just felt like writing them all down. Sorry if I offend anyone. (Quite scary when you have to put a disclaimer at the beginning of a post!!)

Homeschooling vs. Public Education
I 've always received comments from people, officers in particular, about me being a Salvation Army officer that homeschooled my children. There were few people who understood how I managed to do all that I did. I no longer homeschool. Let me tell you, I have less time for the Army now that I am a "normal" officer than when I homeschooled. My hours are shorter and I get called away from meetings more now that the kids are in school. That's just a side note that I wanted to mention because again today I was called to school to collect my sick child!

The Army
I am so grateful that God has called me to ministry. I am equally grateful that He has called me to serve in The Salvation Army. I love Jesus with all of my heart. My goal in life is not to build The Army, but to build An Army that will battle against the sin and death in my community and lift Jesus up as their Savior. This is a heavy responsibility that I do not take lightly.

I often get frustrated when I listen to or read about all of the "great ideas" that will make the Army better... or shall I say change the Army into a different vessel of ministry. I struggle today with how the ministry of loving people as Jesus did, needs to be changed and completely overhauled. I don't get it. I don't see why so much time is spent on "fixing" the perceived brokenness of the Army and it's systems. I would think if time were to be spent on anything, it should be spent on how we can win more souls for the kingdom. Instead we debate! Maybe some of the intellectuals out there can help me understand this whole thing better.

9/11/01
The real reason for my post has to do with 9/11. This has been a bummer of a day. I participated in a Community Service this afternoon. It went well, yet my heart has been hurting all day as I remember and relive the horrible events of 9/11/01. Every American has a different story regarding that day. Every American has difficult feelings regarding that day. I would venture to say that like me, those feelings are still very raw. So raw, that I don't want to talk or write about them just now. I just know that every day that I put my children on the school bus I wonder if anything will happen to them that day. As I watch protesters of the war downtown, I wonder if they will still be around protesting if my son or daughter should go off to war someday. I wonder what villian will be America's enemy when my son is of age to fight for this country. I wonder if my kids will have the opportunity to live out their dreams or if they will live in fear in the years to come. I don't want to wonder anymore. Thing is, I wonder more today, five years after that horrific event, than I ever have. Maybe I've realized that uncertainity and anticipation are now a part of our permanent American psyche.

Blessing to you on this day of Remembrance!

Worms Galore

We took our lovely children to see the movie "HOW TO EAT FRIED WORMS" last weekend. I remember reading the book as a kid and I absolutely loved it. In all honesty the movie was cute but a bit gross. You'd think by this point in motherhood I could handle all that is gross and disgusting.

After the movie I verbalized to my children that worms were not that bad and that I could eat one if I wanted. I am a big "Survivor" and "Fear Factor" junkie. I've convinced myself that I could win "Survivor" because of my personality (not my physique of course). I can be really sweet, but at the same time I can read people well. I can also manipulate ( a characteristic from my pre-Christian days). I also believe that through the will of the mind I could eat gross things. Although the blood balls wrapped in pigs intenstines that are used on Fear Factor may be a bit much for me to sink my teeth into.

My kids tried to test me at our Annual Family Labor Day picnic. They found worms for dessert! I refused to eat one. Without notice my eight year old son grabbed one and swallowed it. The entire family about died. Jimmy is a shy kid who NEVER does things like eating worms. As our daughter Emily put it, "Jimmy just became a boy"! It wasn't long after that Emily (0ur 10 year old) ate her worm.

I was stunned at first by the actions of my children. I then had a sense of pride and a bit of joy (silly, I know). They are so comfortable and free. They love to laugh and have fun. They are so confident in who they are as people. That is exactly what being a kid is all about.

I see kids everyday who have had their childhood stolen away from them. They live in fear, with no sense of self-confidence or joy. They have no stability or sense of security about their lives. I praise God that my kids can be kids. I praise Him that they enjoy the life He has given them. I praise Him for instilling confidence in each of them. I also praise Him that He has given me this ministry in which I can be a mom to those children who need a bit of their childhood back. God is amazing...worms and all!

It has been surprising to me that so many people share such intimate thoughts and feelings on their blog sites. I share, but never felt compelled to share too much. I say this because, for some odd reason, I do feel compelled to lay it all out there today!

I have had a vast array of feelings and thoughts since arriving in this new appointment. A part of me thought that this was way over my head. Another part thought that this appointment would be a piece of cake...humility at its best, I know!

I realized today, that I cannot be anyone but myself. I may not be as "good" as the last guy... I may be "better". Either way, all that matters is that I am myself. God wants to use me. That is an amazing thought if you think about it.... God wants to use me! (He wants to use you too, by the way!)

I woke up tense today knowing that I had a United Way meeting. I ended my afternoon blessed, because I know God had me walk into our soup kitchen yesterday and meet a particular person who needed someone. I spoke with one of his family members today and she said she has been praying for someone (me) to come along side her loved one. God used me and my husband as an answer to prayer that was sent up by someone in New England. Praise God for that one!

Today, I felt at home! I know I am supposed to be here in this appointment. In all honesty, I had my doubts in recent weeks, but praise God that He is in control and His plans are exact and perfect.

Countdown

The countdown has started. In three days I will be leaving this appointment and moving to a new one.

The "lasts" have started. I had my "last" opening day of camp this week. I've finished up my "last" USDA forms this week. My husband preached his "last" sermon as a DYCS on Sunday. We had our "last" staff meeting a few nights ago. I placed my "last" food order today. I left my quarters (in Strongsville) for the "last" time yesterday. In all of these "lasts", I have come to find that I hate "lasts".

I never imagined how difficult this move would be. I am emotionally shot.... that is probably a bit dramatic, I know. These kids/young adults are absolutely amazing and I cannot imagine not seeing them and working with them on a daily, or at least regular basis. They have such potential and I just want others to see that potential in them and exploit that potential. I don't want a single child, teen or young adult to be "overlooked". I want each of them to explode into God's will for their lives. To know that I will not have that constant presence in their lives to encourage them and guide them is distressing. I know I will still be around the division. I know God will bring new people my way. I know that God will use me in new ways. Still, you wonder about those that you must leave behind.

So, enough of the pity party. I am happy about the fact that God directs my paths and my appointments. I am thrilled to have a corps ministry again as well. Most people have told me that I won't have the time I think to put into the corps because of the area coordinator stuff, but I will make time. The area services exists after all to support the corps and resource the corps. God is good and will surely use our family to bring new disciples to Him.

I must go and clean, clean, clean. I have to finish our camp house within the next 24 hours.

Please pray for us over these three days. Please pray for our successors as well. It is going to be a wild week!!!

Blessings to all!

Cool Concept

This is going to be a short post because I am really tired tonight and it is almost midnight.

I came across this quote in one of my emails this evening. I thought it was a good one and that I should share it with you.

"Remember, when you were made a leader you weren't given a crown, you were given a responsibility to bring out the best in others. For that, your people need to trust you. And they will, as long as you demonstrate candor, give credit, and stay real."

Jack Welsh - American Camping Association

I personally like the "stay real" part.

These kids are a few of our first Grace Team members (six summers ago). They are not only the future of the Army, they are the "NOW" of the Army. They are OUR responsibility. When I read that quote, I thought of them. Be real today and find their potential ... they need that from us.

I love to laugh

One of my all time favorite songs is from Mary Poppins. It is called "I love to laugh". When I start cracking up about something, this song always comes to mind. Take a look at the lyrics...

I love to laugh (Ha, ha, ha, ha)
Loud and long and clear
I love to laugh (Ho, ho, ho, ho)
It's getting worse ev'ry year

The more I laugh (Ha, ha, ha, ha)
The more I fill with glee
And the more the glee (Ho,ho, ho, ho)
The more I'm a merrier me
It's embarrassing!
The more I'm a merrier me!

Some people laugh through their noses
Sounding something like this "Mmm..."
Some people laugh through their teeth goodness sake
Hissing and fizzing like snakes

Some laugh too fast
Some only blast - ha!
Others, they twitter like birds
Then there's the kind
What can't make up their mind

When things strike me as funny
I can't hide it inside
And squeak - as the squeakelers do
I've got to let go with a ho-ho-ho...
And a ha-ha-ha...too!

The average child laughs 150 times a day. The average adult laughs 15 times a day. This isn't just my amazing knowledge... I got this from a study done at the University of Michigan. Somewhat sad statistics don't you think?

I also read that laughter aids in digestion. Yes, you read that correctly... it aids in digestion. So around your dinner table make sure that you joke a bit with the ones you love.

My favorite part of the song is the last stanza. So to all of my blogger friends out there... when something strikes you as funny, don't hide it inside... bust your gut with laughter. Be loud with joy!

Proverbs 17:22 says "A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones." I really like how The Message phrases this verse, " A cheerful disposition is good for your health; gloom and doom leave you bone-tired."

Enjoy your day and find something to laugh about... it's good for you! There is always something in every day that you can smile at or laugh about.

Sad Moments

Today a sad moment came to mind.

I drove to the regional/territorial Bible Bowl playoffs at Camp Longpoint. It is about a five hour drive each way, so I had ALOT of thinking time. There were moments as I reflected on my current appointment and simply could do nothing but laugh. It has been an absolutely amazing and wonderful appointment.

Then came the tears, realizing that things are going to quickly change. I think of all the wonderful young people who have been used by God to change me. I think of all those teens who have allowed me to see the reality of true faith, grace, mercy, love, compassion, laughter, joy, and hope. I am so much better off for being able to have been a part of this appointment. I realize it has been my job to minister to the youth of the division, but the reality is that I have been ministered to by each of them. I have grown closer to the Lord because of the young people of NEOSA. That of course is not sad at all!

Life goes on and things will be fine. I will continue to grow in new ways in my faith and in my walk with the Lord. I am very excited about all the newness of our new appointment and know that I will experience the same joys and moments there too.

All of this isn't even what I would have considered the "sad moment" for which I titled this post. What made me sad was that I counted 14 officers kids from this division alone that were being affected in this move cycle. 14 kids are being taken from what they know as "home" and being sent with their parents on their way. I know 1 1/2 of my kids are okay with the move (Emily is the 1/2 depending on her mood each day). My son (age 8) actually appeared to accept the news gracefully. We found him about 10 minutes later hiding in his room crying. He doesn't remember our last move, seeing that he was only 2. All he sees is that he won't be with his friends from camp anymore and that he won't have his "boys only, password protected club house" that he and his dad built. These are sad moments for them.

Please pray for all of the officer's kids. Some are going as far away as Puerto Rico. These are difficult and scary days for them. The Lord will protect them, but they are walking into a whole new life in a lot of respects.

God's Word to Me

I was given a verse by General Paul Rader upon my commissioning as a Salvation Army officer. It was taken from 2 Timothy 1:7, "For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline."

I actually found that verse several years before my commissioning. It was a verse that I memorized and leaned on heavily. I was (and still am) a bit shy and quiet. The whole concept of God not wanting me to be timid in my faith and service to Him stuck with me.

Commissioning can be quite intimidating. When the General ordained me and spoke that particular verse I knew it was God's reassurance that I would be okay if I just leaned on Him.

In recent days I received farewell orders from the appointment I have been in for the last 5 1/2 years. In all honesty, when I received my new appointment I was fine and didn't feel any pressure. I still don't feel the overwhelming need to "check things out" and see what I will be doing. I do know though, now that I have actually had a moment to catch my breath and reflect, that I will face aspects of Army work and ministry that I have never experienced. I realize that I will be stretched. I realize that I am going to be both changed and challenged by this next appointment. I realize that I will need that Word from God now more than ever..."For God did not give YOU, Sue B, a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline."

I praise you Lord for searching me and knowing me. I praise you for knowing my actions and my thoughts. I praise you for knowing all of my ways. I praise you for knowing exactly what I need, when I need it, and where I need to be to both grow as your child and to be used by you to minister to others. Amen.

Song #205

Lt. Colonel LaMarr gave a devotional on Wednesday and used this particular song from our Salvation Army song book. I was so blessed by the words. This is my prayer for today and everyday.

Blessed Lamb of Calvary,

Let thy Spirit fall on me:

Let the cleansing, healing flow

Wash and keep me white as snow,

That henceforth my life may be

Bright and beautiful for thee.

Burn out every selfish thought,

Let thy will in me be wrought,

Fan my love into a flame,

Send a pentecostal rain,

That henceforth my life may be

Spent in winning souls for thee.

Teach me how to fight and win

Perfect victory over sin;

Give me a compassion deep,

That will for lost sinners weep,

That henceforth my life may prove

That I serve thee out of love.

Barbara Stoddart (1865-1915) SASB

>I praise God that He is giving me a renewed desire to serve Him and those He loves. I pray that in coming days I walk in His strength and through His courage so that "my life may prove that I serve HIM out of love."

Priorities

"Whoever welcomes one of these little children in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me does not welcome me but the one who sent me. But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large milestone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.

See that you do not look down on one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven.

What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go look for the one that wandered off? And if he finds it, I tell you the truth, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off. In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should be lost."

Mt. 18:5,6, 10-14

Mk. 9:3637, 42

Lk. 17:2,3a

I read this passage several weeks ago for my devotions. It has stuck with me. I have lived by these words regarding children for years. I remember as a kid thinking that I had to stay true to God and not let the sin my parents were enticed with sway me. I feared that if I would go astray, they would be totally condemned.

The part that really stands out to me now is the part I highlighted in red. "In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should be lost." It is my responsibility to guide the young and keep them close to God. I think of those that refuse to pick kids up for church because their parents should be bringing the kids on a Sunday. We don't want to enable them or become a babysitting service after all! I think about those really bad kids we come across at the corps... the ones we typically end up kicking out of the program. I think about the lice kids that we ban from the corps until they are clean again, which they never get cleaned because their home is invested too.

I am challenged today to go after that one that is "lost", whether they are bad, have lice, or live out of our range of pick-ups. I pray God constantly reminds me of this verse in the coming months and years that I live and minister.

Have you ever had those times in your life when you just feel numb?

I feel like I do not have the capacity to function in life at the moment. I have so many things on the table that I don't know where to begin in order to get moving and get organized.

I am not trying to be negative. I am just experiencing a time where I am going in a million directions and when I take the time to evaluate, I realize that I am a bit lost. I don't have a plan... this proves difficult for someone who lives each day with a plan.

So enough with the pity party... the Cavs won, and for a moment, who cares if I have a plan!!

We had our Youth Councils last weekend. I pretty much cried through the entire event. Our kids in NEOSA are AMAZING!!! They partipate in 90% of the meetings. They do everything from the prayers to the sacred dances to the camera work. Sometimes I feel bad because we don't really use the special guests from THQ very much. Our thought is that if the weekend is for the kids then they need to be the ones participating in the worship experience as much as possible.

The dramas we do run throughout the weekend. They all relate to the theme. The drama on Sunday was amazing. It dealt with Satan being briefed by a demon. This demon was trying to destroy the "walk" of a young man all weekend. In the drama the young man was praying and Satan and the demon were talking about what they could do. I really can't explain the entire thing but it ended with the young man standing and kicking Satan while dancing in a dance he was doing. Three of our young people were doing this dance when all of a sudden groups of kids from the division came up and stood at the front as a sign that they were willing to be part of the Revolution for Christ. To see our kids up there was just too much for me. I have never felt so secure in knowing that the fight for souls would go on as I did when I saw our kids (probably 30 of them) standing up there in different poses. They were all part of the drama, but knowing that those kids believed it was remarkable to me.

God has blessed me so much. My heart hurts for some of these kids, but at the same time I have such joy in knowing that many are totally commited to Christ. Please pray for NEOSA. I know that these kids are making a difference.

My Family

I am feeling a bit sentimental this morning and thought I'd post some photos of my lovely family. Children are a heritage and will be my legacy in life (at least part of my legacy). I am so proud of each of them. They are growing quickly.

My son will be eight tomorrow...WOW. I remember the day I gave birth to Jimmy. I told my husband at 5:30 PM that we needed to get to the hospital because I was ready to have a baby. Jim told me to hold on a few minutes because he wanted to finish mowing the lawn. I was furious but in too much pain to argue. He finished about 20 minutes later. The hospital was only a few minutes away. I arrived at 6:05 PM. I had Jimmy at 6:30 PM. He would have come the moment I arrived at the hospital but they made me hold off on pushing because the doctor hadn't arrived. His birth and the labor was so easy compared to what some people go through. I didn't even start having contractions until around lunch time that day. God knew I had a low tolerance for pain!!!


Praise God for my son! Praise God for my girls as well! Praise God for my family!

New to Blogger

I have finally decided to get a blog site.... I am not even sure if that is what you call it! I have spent the last several months reading the postings and comments of others and finally feel that I am "in control" enough to have my own site. I say that because I can be very passionate about topics and would never want to "rant and rave" about issues and subjects that I really have not investigated. Sometimes passions run wild and thats when you can get into trouble.

I will put some thoughts down periodically and my hope is ultimately that I grow as a Christian and that someone may come across my writings and catch a glimpse of Jesus in a way that is beneficial to them. I pray that Christ is glorified in all that is written within this blog.