Smell the Roses

Whew! Uggh! Blah! Just some of the things I am feeling at this moment in time. Today is the first day of school. It has been CRAZY!

I was up until 3:00am because one child hadn't quite finished her summer reading homework...bet you can't guess who that would be! I woke at 6:00am to get the first child up. I dropped her off for her first "official" day of high school. Of course as I pulled out of the lot, I cried.

I came home and sat down by the next child. She began crying... actually it was more like weeping. She didn't want to go to school. She wasn't ready to be away from me all day again. So for all those camp staff who cared for her as she cried at camp because of homesickness, know that it was not you or how you did things, it's just my girl! Of course as I held her, I cried.

After dropping her off at the bus stop I came home to watch Sponge Bob with my boy. He talked about being nervous. Thirty minutes before the bus was to come he jumped up and said we had to go. I tried to explain that it was only a five minute walk to the bus stop. He exclaimed, "I dont' want to miss it again!" I had know clue what he was talking about until he reminded me that last year we missed the bus on the first day of school... Oh yeah!
We left the house fifteen minutes before the bus was to be there. We were about 100 yards away when we saw the bus. It was early. He took off running, yelling back to me, "I love you mom! Have a good day." My boy!

I came home and plopped down for a moment and of course, I cried. I did not cry tears of joy that our routines would now return or that I now had some sense of quietness back to my life. They were not tears of sadness that they were growing up and caring more for themselves either. I think my tears were for the changes. I don't always see them coming. I don't take the time to see them coming.

I read Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass this week. There was a part where Alice walked into a garden where the flowers spoke. I don't know exactly why the author put the talking flowers in there but I came away thinking that maybe he was trying to let us know through those talking flowers and that little girl that so often as adults we just walk by and literally don't take the time to see the beauty around us and to hear the life around us. There is the saying, "Take time to smell the roses!" Do I do that? Probably not. Kids naturally do that until they are subjected to us adults who constantly try to rush them around and conform them to our adult world, a world which drowns out the voices of the life and lives around us.

Okay, deep enough for 8:30am. Today I am going to make a vow to smell the roses and listen to their voices more. For those that know me... hold me accountable. Life is too precious to walk by it!

I AM A LONER!

I like people. I must admit though that when it comes to work, I just like doing things myself... my way! I would rather do an entire project by myself (no matter what the size) than to have to cooperate with a team of people. I am creative, but once an idea hits me I like to run with it and not look back. When you are an employer and have lots of employees to consider it can be a bit difficult and for me personally can stunt my creative drive. We had four employees in our first appointment, but none were program type people so I was free to be creative and no one cared. We had four employees in our department in our second appointment (all program people). That was workable though. We now have 41 employees and things move SLOW! I know we have entire departments hoping that we will forget about our "creative" ideas and just let them do their thing their way. As pooh bear says, "Oh bother!" I'm going to go crazy with my "to do" list of creative things by the time I convince folks to give a few of them a try.