At Home and NOT feeling GUILTY!

I am home today. I made the decision NOT to go into the office until I absolutely have to this evening. I have to be there by about 5:15 pm and spend the evening there, so I am taking today for me - well actually for my house!

I am tired! That is an understatement. I have not had time at all to reflect or to contemplate anything. Everything I do seems rushed and thrown together. As I look in my office there are piles of work to accomplish... and that is with being in that office six days a week. There is always more administration, speaking engagements, employee problems, corps problems, etc. Quite a change from a year ago at this time. I homeschooled my kids and then spent every evening working. I only went into the office two to three afternoons a week. Don't think I was a slacker though... I am quite happy with the strides I made in that appointment and with what was accomplished through that ministry God gave me there. And though I am not a "women's libber" necessarily, I believe I changed that particular appointment and was not just considered one of those "DHQ wives" that was along for the ride. That probably sounds bad.. sorry!

Back from my rabblings...As I look at my home there are piles there too. It is a mess mainly because when I come home in the evening I typically rush the kids to the various places they are to be at and then we do homework after we get back. There is no time for cleaning. There is no time for talking. There is no time for reading and studying. There is no time for Christian education with my kids except for a few tidbits here and there.

This is NOT how I want to live.

I am enjoying my current appointment. It is a difficult one though. We actually have two appointments - Corps Officers and Area Coordinators. They are very distinct appointments with various people having very distinct expectations of us. It can be very time consuming and exhausting as we try to do both well.

I have decided today that I have neglected my home, my health, my relationship with Christ, my family and my friends over the last 8 months. It must stop today! So I am at home... getting my physical home in order. I am at home... cleaning off my "place" that I meet with God (or am supposed to meet with God). I am at home...preparing a meal for my family for this evening. I am at home... paying MY bills not a hundred other people's bills. I am at home... just being Sue, not Captain Betts!

Please don't look at this post as me being pessimistic. I am actually quite optimistic today. I am optimistic because I think I have finally gotten it through my think head that I cannot change the world for Christ, when mine is falling apart around me.