Rambling Thoughts & Emotions

The following post is simply my rambling thoughts for the day. A lot of emotions have surfaced today and I just felt like writing them all down. Sorry if I offend anyone. (Quite scary when you have to put a disclaimer at the beginning of a post!!)

Homeschooling vs. Public Education
I 've always received comments from people, officers in particular, about me being a Salvation Army officer that homeschooled my children. There were few people who understood how I managed to do all that I did. I no longer homeschool. Let me tell you, I have less time for the Army now that I am a "normal" officer than when I homeschooled. My hours are shorter and I get called away from meetings more now that the kids are in school. That's just a side note that I wanted to mention because again today I was called to school to collect my sick child!

The Army
I am so grateful that God has called me to ministry. I am equally grateful that He has called me to serve in The Salvation Army. I love Jesus with all of my heart. My goal in life is not to build The Army, but to build An Army that will battle against the sin and death in my community and lift Jesus up as their Savior. This is a heavy responsibility that I do not take lightly.

I often get frustrated when I listen to or read about all of the "great ideas" that will make the Army better... or shall I say change the Army into a different vessel of ministry. I struggle today with how the ministry of loving people as Jesus did, needs to be changed and completely overhauled. I don't get it. I don't see why so much time is spent on "fixing" the perceived brokenness of the Army and it's systems. I would think if time were to be spent on anything, it should be spent on how we can win more souls for the kingdom. Instead we debate! Maybe some of the intellectuals out there can help me understand this whole thing better.

9/11/01
The real reason for my post has to do with 9/11. This has been a bummer of a day. I participated in a Community Service this afternoon. It went well, yet my heart has been hurting all day as I remember and relive the horrible events of 9/11/01. Every American has a different story regarding that day. Every American has difficult feelings regarding that day. I would venture to say that like me, those feelings are still very raw. So raw, that I don't want to talk or write about them just now. I just know that every day that I put my children on the school bus I wonder if anything will happen to them that day. As I watch protesters of the war downtown, I wonder if they will still be around protesting if my son or daughter should go off to war someday. I wonder what villian will be America's enemy when my son is of age to fight for this country. I wonder if my kids will have the opportunity to live out their dreams or if they will live in fear in the years to come. I don't want to wonder anymore. Thing is, I wonder more today, five years after that horrific event, than I ever have. Maybe I've realized that uncertainity and anticipation are now a part of our permanent American psyche.

Blessing to you on this day of Remembrance!