Choosing the Brighter Side...

2009-08-25T05:18:00.000-07:00

I read a passage of scripture today (Luke 1:26-56). It was the story of when the Lord spoke to Mary and informed her that she was pregnant with our Saviour. There were four lines that especially stood out to me.

1. 28The angel went to her and said, "Greetings, you who are highly favored! The Lord
is with you."

2. 30But the angel said to her, "Do not be afraid, Mary, you have found favor with God.

3. 37For nothing is impossible with God."

4. 51He has performed mighty deeds with his arm; he has scattered those who are
proud in their inmost thoughts.

As I read, I longed to be one that finds favor in the eyes of the Lord. I want to be favored by my Lord. I want Him to be pleased with me. Am I living my life in a way that would please Him and find favor with Him? Really???? Hmmmm!

As I try to live for Him, I must be reminded that nothing is impossible for Him. Often I find myself doubting whether something will work out right or is even possible. NOTHING is impossible with my God though and I must keep that at the forefront of my mind ALWAYS.

Lastly, the verse that speaks of the Lord scattering those who are proud in their inmost thoughts caught my attention. No one but the Lord and ourself knows our inmost thoughts. He knows if we are proud, even when others don't. Something to remember.

Today I pray that I live the moments given to me in a way that pleases God and make Him smile in delight.

ARRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!

2009-07-30T13:56:00.000-07:00

Can you tell how exasperated I feel right now simply by the title of this entry?

It has been quite some time since I have posted on this blog. I'm not sure how much longer I will continue to write, but I figured I'd give it another shot.

Life has been quite hectic, as always. We are concluding a two week vacation. It can probably be summed up as horrible. We camped our first week.... constant rain. Our second week began with a house fire at the home of my inlaws.

I've concluded that vacations are simply not good for us as of late. They provide absolutely no refreshment or lift to our energy levels. They are actually quite draining.

During our last vacation, my mother died. During this vacation, my inlaws lost their home of 40 years. At this point I think I might cancel all future vacations! Seriously!

On that note, I'm going to log off and clean my carpets because that is what I do when I'm feeling overwhelmed... I clean.

By the way, I hope you like the new lay out of my blog. Pretty nifty if I do say so myself!

2008-05-09T18:43:00.000-07:00

God IS good. I believe that with all my heart.

That being said, it has been a discouraging week. Though I tried to look for the bright spots, it was clear that darkness loomed at every turn.

There have been many things on my heart this week... many things that have caused my heart to ache.

An officer's child in the division had a horrible accident.
One of our congregation members is really struggling as he tries to figure out life.
My uncle (who lives with my dad) is going to die... probably sometime this weekend. He is actually my Godfather (my family was catholic when I was a kid). My heart hurts for my dad.
One of our learning center kids will face an unthinkable weekend. His mentor killed himself last night.

These are just of few of those troublesome things that have happened this week. There are others, but those I share with God alone.

In the midst of all of this, God has shown me his goodness in the smiles of my children.... in the embrace of a wonderful husband... in the support of friends... in His word that reminds me that I do not need to be dismayed or discouraged because He is my strength.

With Jesus there is always hope for a brighter tomorrow.

Please pray for those mentioned above.

2008-03-21T14:54:00.001-07:00

I picked up flowers today for the Easter Sunday worship service. I of course didn't think ahead and as they were bringing out our carts of flowers I realized that I only had Jim's car ;) We managed to get them all in the car though.

As we were taking the flowers into the corps we were bombarded with homeless people. We didn't have our soup kitchen today because the entire Area Services was closed. We have had signs posted for a few weeks, but obviously not everyone got the message. I scrambled around the corps trying to find food for these folks. One of the guys asked me why we were closed. I of course explained that it was Good Friday and that our staff was all off for the weekend. As he took the bagged lunch I had made up for him I couldn't help but ask myself: WHY are WE closed today? I of course want to reflect on the sacrifice made for me today, however, it would probably be more fitting for me to share and sacrifice for my neighbor.

This winter an email conversation circulated around our division's area coordinators discussing when it was appropriate to close our facilities due to weather... How bad does the weather have to be for The Salvation Army to close?... that was the big question. I understand the need to care for our staff and keep them safe. At the same time, we are an organization and a ministry who is called to help those in need. Even in the worst weather, there are people who need a hot meal, a warm building to sit in, a hot shower, a hot drink, a safe place to relax.... I could go on forever here. In a lot of cases, The Salvation Army serves as a "home" to the homeless. They need these services even more in that really bad weather and on the holidays. So what do we do?

We do close for holidays. We rarely close for weather. I don't know the answer.... but will ponder and figure out how to be there for our homeless brothers and sisters even in the midst of holiday celebrations.

2008-03-08T12:21:00.000-08:00

Wow... I didn't realize how long it had been since I wrote last! I really don't have much time to keep up with this blog anymore. I enjoy reading the thoughts of others (at least most of the time), but I really don't spend much time doing that either. I do have a few moments now though and thought I'd jot down some info. on my exciting week.

I have been working like crazy. I learned how to write for a grant over the course of the last month. The preliminary part of the grant was approved and permission was given to continue on in the process and submit a full grant application. I was very excited about that one. New things!! New things!! That is due in two weeks.

I also have an inspection coming up that could provide our preschool with a lot of money! That happens on March 25th so please pray. There is a lot involved in that but I don't feel like discussing it further. I have been really working hard on our learning center and child care programs though over the course of the last six months and I am seeing the results. Praise God!

This was an exciting week.... not "good" exciting, but "uncomfortable/scary" exciting. Jim was in D.C. again and I was home for a week alone with the kids. Early Friday morning someone broke into our garage (which is attached to the house). It has been a long day with much running and by the time I got home around 9:00pm that evening I was shot. I accidently left my purse in my car.

I woke very early on Friday because I had to go and purchase milk for breakfast. That is when I found my car absolutely ransacked. The thief took my camera out of the car, which I had used that evening to film my son's baseball lesson, and my wallet. Papers, receipts, everything was thrown everywhere.

I was so freaked when I realized what had happened. I was even more freaked when it hit me that someone had been in my house while my children and I slept. Someone could have walked another 5 feet to the door that separates my garage and kitchen and done who knows what....

It has been a complete hassle. My ss card was in my wallet (yes I know it wasn't supposed to be but I had used it). So now my ss card and my license are gone, along with all my credit cards, (personal and business )and literally about 20 receipts I was to give to the Army for either gas charges or reimbursements. Big pain!

I don't have a copy of my birth certificate (my parents kept that and who knows where that ended up). I need that to get my license in order to have id to get my ss. card. Vicious cycle!

That isn't even the worst part... I am psychologically freaked out. I didn't sleep much at all and when I did, I of course had nightmares. It is just so scary to think about the fact that someone came into our home and we didn't know it.

I have to stop thinking about it for a bit. Pray for my peace of mind.

Well... I'm off for now. Be safe and stay close to our Lord.

Tommy

2007-11-28T18:57:00.000-08:00

I have a friend named Tommy who has taught me some very valuable lessons in recents weeks. Tommy is 3 1/2 years old. He is very rowdy and typically gets in a lot of trouble. Tommy has long blonde hair and huge blue eyes that truly sparkle.

The first few weeks I began working out of our Child Development Center, I got to know Tommy very well... basically because he spent a lot of time in my office in time-out!

I have made it a point to see each child in our CDC as unique individuals that were created to stand out in our crazy world in their own unique way. Tommy is no exception.

Tommy has hit me, kicked me, bit me, and screamed at me over the course of the last few months. I have continued to love him. He has also hugged me, giggled with me, and given me gifts. Tommy tells me he loves me every day. "I love you Cappin Sue" are the first words I hear from Tommy each morning. I have tried to teach Tommy how to behave and why he must behave. He is truly trying and getting better with his behavior. I sit with Tommy and let him be him. He is really great!

He often says to me, "I bein good Cappin Sue". That is a huge breakthrough. Tommy is doing his best to please me. He wants to be good because he knows it makes me happy. Today he is trying to please me and make me happy but someday Tommy is going to try to please Jesus and make Him happy.

I feel like God is bringing me back to the basics in recent weeks. He is stripping all control and order from my life. I cannot remember the last time that I actually was able to follow through on my daily plans. That had been aggravating to me, but not so much anymore. I am doing exactly what I was called to do... share the love of Jesus. Tommy represents mission for me. Jesus has started to change Tommy... there is a difference. Jesus is hope and I see the hope in Tommy's eyes and I can now see the hope of a godly future for Tommy. Wow!!!

Chronicles of Cross Country

2007-10-31T16:08:00.001-07:00

For those of you that are sick of listening or reading rather my stories about our daughter's cross country experiences this season, please accept my apologies and just know that the season is almost over.

The kiddo had a REMARKABLE race last Saturday. The race was the regional race that decided which four teams from the region (16 total) and which 16 individuals would quality for the State Meet. Katie came in fourth in the region. No one expected her to do that well. Her coaches assumed that she would qualify in the top 16, but they figured she would come in 10th or 12th. She ran 59 seconds faster than her best race of the season (which took place in mid September). She ran the 3.1 miles in 18:48. She was one second from getting third place and four seconds behind second place.... INCREDIBLE! For those that are not familiar with cross country, it is not too often that a freshman girl runs under 19 minutes and to go to States as a freshman is a big deal.

We go down to Columbus on Friday and she actually runs on Saturday at 12:35 pm. Pray for her safety if you can. There are about 125 kids that all run in a huge pack as the various runners try to break away and I always worry that she will get hurt in some way.

She has a wonderful perspective on things. When she got home last Saturday night she began wondering out loud why God would have her going to the State Meet. She thinks that maybe God wants her to speak to someone there about Him. She is my great!

Well you may have to suffer through one more post about Cross Country... but it is my blog after all. Have a great weekend.

Rambling Thoughts from a Women who has NO energy left to put a coherent thought together!

2007-10-20T17:27:00.001-07:00

I have such a mix of emotions tonight. I was tense all morning because Katie had her district meet this morning. She did great. She got 5th place so she qualified for regionals. She was in second up until the last 1/2 mile. The experienced upper classmen of Brecksville High got her in the last few moments. Looking at all the teams and kids going to regionals she was the top freshman in our region today. She falls within the top ten overall. WHEW! Pray for her next Saturday. If she places in the top 16 she will qualify for the state meet.

I also have the stress of the Tribe game tonight. I can't talk anymore about it because I will jinx it. I need to run up and get my lucky shirt on though. It is dirty but we tend to win more when I wear it dirty :)

I have learned a lot the last few weeks. As some know, I learned last month that if you happen to melt a crayon in your clothes dryer the best remedy is to heat the dryer, spread stove top cleaner on it, wait 10 minutes and then wipe. It takes the crayon right off.

Today I learned that if you happen to dry a pen in your clothes dryer (that has exploded of course) all you have to do is use nail polish remover to wipe the ink marks off the dryer drum.

I realize I sound like a loser that doesn't know how to do laundry. Oh well! I have a lot on my mind these days.

At the moment I am juggling being a corps officer, an area coordinator and I am filling in as the the interim director of our day care and our three learning centers. Difficult circumstances in our appointment needless to say. Prayers are welcome!

Got to go and watch the TRIBE!!!

Follow-up

2007-09-26T07:54:00.001-07:00

Thanks for all the prayers. Katie will be fine. She is however on crutches today. Apparently she tore something in her foot during her race last Saturday. I don't know if I mentioned that she came in 9th out of 175 or so people. She ran the 3.1 miles in 19:47. Great race! Anyway... she tore something and to be safe the doctor has her on crutches today and possibily tomorrow. Nothing was broken. She will probably be able to run on Saturday. She is HAPPY for that!

It is stunning to me what a "natural" she is at this sport. Her coach said that if she keeps up at this level she will not need to worry about paying anything for college. How awesome is that???

I am off to the Central Territory tomorrow. I am attending a Women's Ministries Conference. I am one of the reps. from the East. It should be fun but the "day before a trip" scenario is killing me! It is also homecoming weekend so the schedule for the kiddos is CRAZY. The parade... the community bbq...the football game...the cc meet...the dance.... Can Jim handle it all????? YEP! Pray for him.

I've got to go and get things done. Adios!

Blessings AND Prayer Requests

2007-09-25T16:41:00.001-07:00

I was very blessed by one of our retired officers on Sunday. She was away on an Auxiliary trip (I could not go) and she brought me back a gift. She had been praying for me all week as she knew it would be an incredibly hard week for me. I had to do the Advisory Board meeting. In this meeting we were to talk about the budget (not a fun topic), talk about the status of a proposed new program (which has been trying to get approval for over a year - they are getting testy about it), and get approval for a county wide strategic plan. I also had a few community relations events that I had to attend (ALONE because Jim was out of town).

I was so blessed when she brought that little teddy bear back for me. It had a t-shirt on that said "Someone at the Citadel loves you!" It made my week!

I also ask for prayers tonight. Our daughter Kate is at the hospital at the moment. She is a cross country runner. She ran at an invitational on Saturday and got 9th place overall out of about 175 runners. She ran against some of the top runners in NE Ohio and came in pretty close to them :) This is only her third race as a high schooler. She was fine after the race but on Sunday her foot began to hurt. It has been swollen and she can't run on it. She is pretty stressed out that she won't be able to run this weekend. Jim took her to get an x-ray to see if she may have a stress fracture. Pray for her. She has the potential and now the very possible dream of making it to STATES this year. That is an incredible accomplishment as a freshman. She is really stressed about having something seriously wrong with her foot.

I also ask for prayer support because the next month will be INTENSE for me. We have had to make some serious decisions regarding the program in our community, the overall effectiveness of how things are done, and the structure of our area. Some of those decisions will have profound affects on our family. Can't go into too much detail at the moment, but please PRAY!

God is wonderful and even though my computer has been garbage all day and lotus notes has not worked, I am calm and at peace (at least for the moment). Have a good evening.

2007-09-08T17:50:00.001-07:00

Okay... I am really, really, really not trying to brag, but I am so excited for my little girl right now. For those who haven't realized it or simply don't know me, I have recently moved into the ranks of having a child in high school. This has been a bit traumatic for me but she seems to be adjusting well :)

My daughter Kate is also a runner. She runs cross country and track. She was informed earlier in the week that she would be running on the varsity squad ... pretty good for an 85 pound 9th grader! Today she ran her first ever high school division 1 cross country race. She placed 21 out of 195 runners. That is AWESOME! She ran 3.1 miles in 19:58. She surprised a lot of people including herself. She came in second for her high school. This is so amazing because this invitational is huge. Many of the top runners in the state were there and running. I know her coach expects a lot from her in the future, but I also know that he wasn't anticipating her to do so well so quickly. He told her to try to get between 21 and 22 minutes. (By the way, one minute is a huge difference in a cross country race). I am just so proud of her.

The other Stow girl got 3rd place. She is an amazing runner and went to States last year. Can't wait until next week!!!!

Smell the Roses

2007-08-28T06:00:00.000-07:00

Whew! Uggh! Blah! Just some of the things I am feeling at this moment in time. Today is the first day of school. It has been CRAZY!

I was up until 3:00am because one child hadn't quite finished her summer reading homework...bet you can't guess who that would be! I woke at 6:00am to get the first child up. I dropped her off for her first "official" day of high school. Of course as I pulled out of the lot, I cried.

I came home and sat down by the next child. She began crying... actually it was more like weeping. She didn't want to go to school. She wasn't ready to be away from me all day again. So for all those camp staff who cared for her as she cried at camp because of homesickness, know that it was not you or how you did things, it's just my girl! Of course as I held her, I cried.

After dropping her off at the bus stop I came home to watch Sponge Bob with my boy. He talked about being nervous. Thirty minutes before the bus was to come he jumped up and said we had to go. I tried to explain that it was only a five minute walk to the bus stop. He exclaimed, "I dont' want to miss it again!" I had know clue what he was talking about until he reminded me that last year we missed the bus on the first day of school... Oh yeah!
We left the house fifteen minutes before the bus was to be there. We were about 100 yards away when we saw the bus. It was early. He took off running, yelling back to me, "I love you mom! Have a good day." My boy!

I came home and plopped down for a moment and of course, I cried. I did not cry tears of joy that our routines would now return or that I now had some sense of quietness back to my life. They were not tears of sadness that they were growing up and caring more for themselves either. I think my tears were for the changes. I don't always see them coming. I don't take the time to see them coming.

I read Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass this week. There was a part where Alice walked into a garden where the flowers spoke. I don't know exactly why the author put the talking flowers in there but I came away thinking that maybe he was trying to let us know through those talking flowers and that little girl that so often as adults we just walk by and literally don't take the time to see the beauty around us and to hear the life around us. There is the saying, "Take time to smell the roses!" Do I do that? Probably not. Kids naturally do that until they are subjected to us adults who constantly try to rush them around and conform them to our adult world, a world which drowns out the voices of the life and lives around us.

Okay, deep enough for 8:30am. Today I am going to make a vow to smell the roses and listen to their voices more. For those that know me... hold me accountable. Life is too precious to walk by it!

2007-08-07T16:42:00.000-07:00

I AM A LONER!

I like people. I must admit though that when it comes to work, I just like doing things myself... my way! I would rather do an entire project by myself (no matter what the size) than to have to cooperate with a team of people. I am creative, but once an idea hits me I like to run with it and not look back. When you are an employer and have lots of employees to consider it can be a bit difficult and for me personally can stunt my creative drive. We had four employees in our first appointment, but none were program type people so I was free to be creative and no one cared. We had four employees in our department in our second appointment (all program people). That was workable though. We now have 41 employees and things move SLOW! I know we have entire departments hoping that we will forget about our "creative" ideas and just let them do their thing their way. As pooh bear says, "Oh bother!" I'm going to go crazy with my "to do" list of creative things by the time I convince folks to give a few of them a try.

Abundant Blessings

2007-07-07T09:37:00.001-07:00

I think sometimes I can get so caught up in the busyness of the day that I forget to see the blessings. I have decided to make the effort to appreciate the blessings today that I have. Being in this appointment has made me miss the corps people from our first appointment. Many of those saints from our first corps are with the Lord now and I have found myself missing them dearly. I didn't appreciate them or that corps nearly as much as I should have, that is until I left it. I am not going to make that mistake here. I count my blessings from God and appreciate each one.

The photo above is of our men in one of our Sunday School classes. This is just a few of the men that come to Sunday School. As I think about the number of men in our corps I am astounded. It can be hard to get men into church (traditionally), but God has blessed us with men of God that are seeking Him in ways like never before. Praise God!

We also do a Salvation Meeting. It happens at 6:00pm. We just started this particular meeting last September. Though some believe an evening service will just not work in this day and age, it works for us. On this evening we had an outdoor meeting. There were 88 people there. Several of the neighbors came. Several of the homeless that reside in the neighborhoods surrounding the corps showed up too. One man was in a wheelchair and he frequents our daily soup kitchen. He introduced himself as "Wheelchair". His real name is Clarence but his friends call him Wheelchair. So "Wheelchair" it is because we at the Army are considered his friends.

It should be noted too that the folks we get on Sunday morning are not all the same folks we get on a Sunday evening. It appears that the "unsaved" and "non-church going" folks prefer the evening service. Go figure!

2007-07-04T19:33:00.000-07:00

This has been an exciting summer at our corps so far. Below are just a few pictures that I hold dear. The first is a picture of our Jr. Band. All but my own are beginners this year. We are missing about five of them too. This has been a wonderful year with them. These are our kids heading off to Music and Arts Camp. Again, most are beginners. And again, they are mostly brass players with a few timbrelists.

GOD is GOD

2007-06-29T07:57:00.000-07:00

Throughout life there will be periods of disillusionment for an individual. There will be people that disappoint you. There will be situations that turn your stomach. There will decisions made by others that sadden you. There will be remarks that hurt you in the worse ways. There will be circumstances that you wonder if you will ever be able to manage and come out still standing.

The key is to remember that God is GOD! God is GOD in the big things. God is GOD in the little things. GOD is GOD!

I PRAISE my GOD in all things today. I PRAISE Him for those little things that are bothering me personally. I PRAISE Him for our crazy, psycho world that seems to be getting more and more evil. I PRAISE Him for all the hurts that are going through my head and heart this day. I PRAISE Him because HE is my GOD and in control of ALL things. I PRAISE Him because GOD will ALWAYS be GOD and there is not a soul on earth that can change that fact. Thank you my Lord and my GOD for being my LORD and my GOD.

Life is Great!

2007-06-19T18:17:00.000-07:00

I know a week ago I was sad because it seemed as if my babies were getting way too independent.

This evening I had to go to the store to pick up some breakfast snacks for our Advisory Board. As we were walking my middle daughter noticed my son's toes. It disgusted her.

Em is a special girl. When I first brought her baby brother home from the hospital she really checked every part of him out. She wanted to take care of him. Her way of doing that has stuck with me for 9 years now.

I used to catch her (at the age of 2 1/2) take his bootie socks off and pick the toe jam from between his tiny toes. That was pretty gross in my book, but she wanted him to be clean and comfortable. Emily hated having anything in between her toes so she assumed her brother did as well.

If you were in that store with us it would have been apparent that her brother could care less what is on his feet or between his toes.

We came home and as I was loading the dishwasher I heard a slap followed by a "sit still".

Emily had her brother laying on the couch looking through a book as she cut his toe nails and cleaned them out for him. (By the way, he didn't seem to mind the slap!)

As I watched that scene, I felt so incredibly blessed. I was blessed because my babies were caring for each other. I was blessed because I got a glimpse of my 2 1/2 year old daughter once again. I was blessed because I got a glimpse of my little boy laying there so contently as he was cared for by his big sis. I was blessed because I saw how God created my daughter with compassion and a need to help others from the time she was born and it is working out to this day in her life.

Thank you Lord for allowing me to see the past in my changing children. I am blessed!

DEPRESSION

2007-06-15T15:31:00.000-07:00

This has been a traumatic week for me!

I dropped my baby off at the park yesterday morning at 9:00am so that she could participate in her FIRST high school cross country practice. She is officially in high school :(

After practice I drove her down to Camp Neosa AND left her :( She is working there and will be gone all summer... NOT GOOD!

My husband didn't come home last night. He stayed at the corps all night working on a playground for the neighborhood kids. He and two other staff members worked ALL night... I was lonely :(

The CAVS lost :( Enough said! I didn't even watch the game. I watched a movie instead.

I wasn't able to go to the Officers' Farewell today ... United Way Day of Care day! I'm sad that I won't be able to say good bye to some dear officer friends and especially to their dear children:(

Emily has her FIRST babysitting gig tonight. She is growing up TOO FAST :( She shouldn't be old enough to babysit... she is a baby herself... my baby girl :(

I am home alone until about 9:00pm. It is a Friday night and my whole family is out doing their own thing... living their own lives. It is depressing for me :( When did they all get so independent?

I am going to go and have some time with my Jesus.... He will cheer me up :)

NBA Finals

2007-06-03T17:30:00.000-07:00

Rasheed Wallace: "Hey Guys... should one of us stop him?"

Rip Hamilton: "I'll just wait here until he comes back down."

Chauncy: "It's only one shot... how many can one guy get anyway? I'm Mr. Big Shot...NOT LeBron."

Chris Webber: "Time out! Time out.....wait we don't have any time-outs left!"

Z: "I got your back buddy."

What more needs to be said? The CAVS are going to the finals!

Thanks Detroit for losing your "poise!"

Lesson Learned

2007-05-31T06:19:00.000-07:00

When we were Divisional Youth Leaders it always bothered us to see some really great kids in the division not participate in camp or in divisional activities. We know the impact these things can have on a young person. They feel more connected to the Army and see the bigger picture. Not to mention that their influence and abilities would be a tremendous asset to the programs and to the individuals around them.

My oldest daughter is going to High School next year (YIKES). She is in the band programs and a Cross Country runner. Band sessions and athletic training takes place all summer long. They actually start the week after school lets out. She is excellent in both of these programs and needs to participate in the summer activities. The bandmasters and the coach need her to participate during the summer. Of course come fall she will have football games every Friday night and I just found out yesterday that she will have Cross Country meets every Saturday. That eliminates her from a lot in regards to the Army. She is supposed to work at camp this summer and she is supposed to be in NEOSA Brass this fall. There is no way she will be able to do it all.

I never realized how much school impacts those "off times" in a young person's life. I think if I were a DYS now I would find a way to reach out to those kids more. There has to be a way!!

2007-05-11T05:15:00.000-07:00

I have been studying the book of Galatians over the last several weeks. It has been a challenge for me as I have reflected on my walk in relation to God's Word in this particular book.

I thought I would post on some of those things that jumped out at me as of late.

Galatians 5:16-21
Life by the Spirit
16So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. 17For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. 18But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under law.
19The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; 20idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

As I read this list, I thought to myself, “Wow these are bad things”. Take a closer look at these though. I think sometimes when we think of sin, we think of murder, adultery, stealing, lying and a host of others mentioned in the 10 commandments. When I first read this particular list I kind of scanned over them. However, look at these a little closer.

As I read this I realized that this is so often me. I obviously don't mean to sin, but I do. I do get selfish. I do go into fits of rage. I do sin. I don't believe I am the only one who falls into this trap though. I have seen Christians in fits of rage. I have had friends who were sexually immoral… Christian friends! I have seen believers vying to get ahead because of their selfish ambition. Look at all the televangelists that have gone down in the last few years. Commissioner Todd Bassett, who has served in the Salvation Army as the National Commander was just recently named to head the National Association of Evangelicals after the Reverend Ted Haggert had to answer to allegations that he had a 3 year relationship with a gay hooker. He was the head of the National Association of Evangelicals!!!!

What about dissention? Have you seen dissention in the church? Be honest! Envy? Jealousy? Even as Christians, sometimes we allow these sins to creep into our lives. It is so easy to fall back into the sinful nature which we once walked away from.

When we begin living by our own power we fail. It is only through the power of the Holy Spirit that we are able to live as God created us to live.

God has really blasted me with this truth recently. It is a passage of scripture that I have read a zillion times, so many times that it simply became words to me. I thank God that He made me read and see these words once more in a new light.

The key for me was the last part of the passage where it says, "I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God." Is that blunt or what?

WHAT???

2007-05-09T13:07:00.000-07:00

So what happens when the reality of the day hits you smack in the face?

There was a "threat" at my daughter's school yesterday. It happened at the end of the day. A threatening note was found in a bathroom.

Parents didn't find out about it until today when note was sent home explaining what had happened. We have been assured that the school was thoroughly inspected and every inch of the place checked.

I can't write much about this because I am a bit stunned.

At what point did we allow this to happen to our society? At what point did we just sit back and allow kids to do whatever they pleased? When did we get to the point of just hoping nothing crazy would happen to our kids in school during the day? What the heck happened???

Agenda for the Day

2007-05-08T11:48:00.000-07:00

My Agenda for Today

Print programs for Home League Annual Dinner (for Thursday)
Pick up centerpieces for the Dinner
Print music for Auxiliary Meeting (tomorrow)
Print Agenda & Minutes for Auxiliary Meeting (tomorrow)
Organize room for Auxiliary Meeting
Prep with husband on Program Committee Meeting
Complete Inventory of Building and Quarters (all stuff in my office)
Take Em to softball practice (while Daddy's at band)
Go to Katie's band concert (while Daddy's at band)

God's Agenda for Today

Stay home with a son who found CHICKEN POX all over his body this morning!!

God is a wonderful God and I thank Him even for the CHICKEN POX! Does anyone know how long he will have these things anyway? It has been 13 years since my last child had them and my memory is not that good. He did have the vaccine as a baby. FYI for those who were vaccinated... apparently there is a booster that you will need about 7 years after the first vaccine. I obviously didn't know about it.

Program Evaluation

2007-05-04T06:12:00.001-07:00

I spent yesterday afternoon listing all of the things we "do" at our corps. Actually, I listed all of the programs. We have a few Advisory Board members helping us to evaluate things and thought it would be a good time to really get a handle on things seeing that I've been here almost a year now.

I feel like I've never been busier in my life. With the appointment and the kids I just go, go, go! After completing this task of program evaluation I had a better understanding as to why I feel so busy. We DO alot!!! I had 58 different programs to evaluate. That would sound crazy to most, but in all honesty there were 58! My husband and I each lead a few things, but we have leaders for most programs. That may sound great too, but we still have to be involved in those 58 programs in some way because we are the officers (in some cases that involvement only includes our mental powers every once in a while to make sure things are going in the right direction).

Please understand that I am not complaining. It was actually helpful for me to see this evaluation because I realized that we are doing okay. The programs are incredibly balanced as well between evangelistic programs and discipling programs. There always seems to be someone in the corps that wants more though... one more service... one more program. I have a tendency to allow people to guilt me into doing things. I think I will carry this program list with me so that when the guilt brigade comes after me I can pull it out and see that we are doing our best and our best is pretty efficient at this point in time.

If you would like to pray for me and my husband please feel free. We have a vibrant corps with wonderful people. Most of the people are new to the Army in the last year. Our corps was ALWAYS a very traditional corps. My husband and I are young, but more traditional than most officers our age. I think the older folks in the congregation were counting on that traditional side of us to come and change their corps back to what it was years ago. I have found in recent months though that tradition changes. When you have a corps of mostly new salvationists, new traditions arise. Our corps used to be a very large corps and due to a variety of circumstances it dwindled down to almost nothing over the last several years. It is on the rebound now. We are experiencing a time when we are trying to figure out what the Army is going to look like in Akron, OH. It will never be the Akron Citadel of 40 years ago, 10 years ago, or even 1 year ago. That is a hard pill to swallow for some. Maybe that has been a hard pill for me to swallow. Please pray that God helps us all to accept HIS direction for our community and corps. I LOVE this appointment and the people in our corps and our community. I always pray that I follow God's guidance in what we "do" so that He will be lifted up and glorified.

Thanks for reading my ramblings. This is going to be an awesome day... I can just feel it!!!

At Home and NOT feeling GUILTY!

2007-04-13T07:25:00.000-07:00

I am home today. I made the decision NOT to go into the office until I absolutely have to this evening. I have to be there by about 5:15 pm and spend the evening there, so I am taking today for me - well actually for my house!

I am tired! That is an understatement. I have not had time at all to reflect or to contemplate anything. Everything I do seems rushed and thrown together. As I look in my office there are piles of work to accomplish... and that is with being in that office six days a week. There is always more administration, speaking engagements, employee problems, corps problems, etc. Quite a change from a year ago at this time. I homeschooled my kids and then spent every evening working. I only went into the office two to three afternoons a week. Don't think I was a slacker though... I am quite happy with the strides I made in that appointment and with what was accomplished through that ministry God gave me there. And though I am not a "women's libber" necessarily, I believe I changed that particular appointment and was not just considered one of those "DHQ wives" that was along for the ride. That probably sounds bad.. sorry!

Back from my rabblings...As I look at my home there are piles there too. It is a mess mainly because when I come home in the evening I typically rush the kids to the various places they are to be at and then we do homework after we get back. There is no time for cleaning. There is no time for talking. There is no time for reading and studying. There is no time for Christian education with my kids except for a few tidbits here and there.

This is NOT how I want to live.

I am enjoying my current appointment. It is a difficult one though. We actually have two appointments - Corps Officers and Area Coordinators. They are very distinct appointments with various people having very distinct expectations of us. It can be very time consuming and exhausting as we try to do both well.

I have decided today that I have neglected my home, my health, my relationship with Christ, my family and my friends over the last 8 months. It must stop today! So I am at home... getting my physical home in order. I am at home... cleaning off my "place" that I meet with God (or am supposed to meet with God). I am at home...preparing a meal for my family for this evening. I am at home... paying MY bills not a hundred other people's bills. I am at home... just being Sue, not Captain Betts!

Please don't look at this post as me being pessimistic. I am actually quite optimistic today. I am optimistic because I think I have finally gotten it through my think head that I cannot change the world for Christ, when mine is falling apart around me.

Date Night

2007-03-27T08:25:00.001-07:00

The kids are on spring break this week. Believe it or not, they have never had a spring break!
Jim and I have decided to take as much of the week as possible to spend with the kids. We have at least one meeting each day, but for the most part will be able to get away and spend some time with them.

Last night at about 9:00pm Jim and I decided to go out on a date. We went to Kent, OH (which is only about 5 minutes from us) for a movie. It was quite an experience. The movie was good. We saw "Reign over Me". It is about a guy who basically got "lost" after his family died in one of the planes during 9/11. His friend was a bit "lost" in his life too, even though his life seemed normal.

No one was in the theater until about 30 seconds before the movie started. As we sat there it occurred to us that we were the oldest people in the theater... by about 20 years! Kent, Ohio is college town (Kent State University). The college kids are on spring break so the place ended up being pretty full. It was an odd feeling being there. They laughed in places that seemed odd to us and then we laughed in other places, by ourselves of course.

We both whispered to each other, asking how these kids would understand and truly "get" the movie. Most were probably around 12 when 9/11 happened. Most probably didn't have spouses. Most probably didn't have kids or a family of their own. Though it was a good movie and younger people might enjoy it, until you have certain life experiences I don't think you can truly "get" the entire movie.

Jim and I then embarked on a discussion of the importance of life experience. Education, wisdom and intellegience are great, but experience does count. I think about the Army in general and discussions that happen regarding the leadership of the Army. Many push for younger more culturally relevant individuals to be put into higher leadership roles. Youth can bring a lot to the table, but so does experience. There is a difference between seeing something happen from a distance and actually experiencing it.

I think I would still be considered a young officer. I hope though that I never get to the point where I stop seeking the opinions of those who have come before me, those who have already experienced some of the things I am yet to experience.

As we left the theater EVERYONE seemed to be looking at us. It was freaky. There are not too many situations where I feel like the oddball, but that definitely was one of them.

Date Night

2007-03-27T08:25:00.000-07:00

The kids are on spring break this week. Believe it or not, they have never had a spring break!
Jim and I have decided to take as much of the week as possible to spend with the kids. We have at least one meeting each day, but for the most part will be able to get away and spend some time with them.

Last night at about 9:00pm Jim and I decided to go out on a date. We went to Kent, OH (which is only about 5 minutes from us) for a movie. It was quite an experience. The movie was good. We saw "Reign over Me". It is about a guy who basically got "lost" after his family died in one of the planes during 9/11. His friend was a bit "lost" in his life too, even though his life seemed normal.

No one was in the theater until about 30 seconds before the movie started. As we sat there it occurred to us that we were the oldest people in the theater... by about 20 years! Kent, Ohio is college town (Kent State University). The college kids are on spring break so the place ended up being pretty full. It was an odd feeling being there. They laughed in places that seemed odd to us and then we laughed in other places, by ourselves of course.

We both whispered to each other, asking how these kids would understand and truly "get" the movie. Most were probably around 12 when 9/11 happened. Most probably didn't have spouses. Most probably didn't have kids or a family of their own. Though it was a good movie and younger people might enjoy it, until you have certain life experiences I don't think you can truly "get" the entire movie.

Jim and I then embarked on a discussion of the importance of life experience. Education, wisdom and intellegience are great, but experience does count. I think about the Army in general and discussions that happen regarding the leadership of the Army. Many push for younger more culturally relevant individuals to be put into higher leadership roles. Youth can bring a lot to the table, but so does experience. There is a difference between seeing something happen from a distance and actually experiencing it.

As we left the theater EVERYONE seemed to be looking at us. It was freaky. There are not too many situations where I feel like the oddball, but that definitely was one of them.

Shirley

2007-03-23T19:26:00.000-07:00

I had to go to a funeral this week. Well, I didn't HAVE to go, I wanted to go. It was the funeral of a dear friend... a saint in my mind. Shirley was a soldier from our first corps appointment. She was a wonderful soldier and a true mentor.

Shirley was about 70 years old when we were in Mt. Vernon. She didn't seem that old (not that 70 is old of course). Shirley was THE lady you could count on handling things when we had to be away or when we simply didn't get something. She actually ran the Christmas toy shop/distribution effort for us. I distinctly remember Shirley telling me every year that at some point I was going to have to learn how to do her job. She tried to tell me each year that she was old and would be retiring soon. I would simply smile and let her know that I was never going to let her retire. She also assured me that we would not be in Mt. Vernon forever and that someday I would have to do the toy shop in another location. I would just tell her that she would have to move with us. It always seemed to work!

I did watch Shirley though and I did learn how to do Christmas from her. I would have to say she taught me quite well by her example :)

As I sat in her funeral service on Thursday I came to realize that I truly never believed that Shirley would retire. I never believed that she would ever die either. Shirley was a rock. She was a rock that I counted on more than I ever realized.

I was a kid in that first appointment. God knew that Shirley was EXACTLY what Jim and I needed. Without her who knows what would have happened.

I pray that the Lord helps me to daily realize the saints that he places in my path. I need them. I also pray that God uses me in the life of another. Will I be that rock, that example of Christ, to another? I can only hope.

AMAZING GRACE

2007-01-23T07:00:00.002-08:00

God is truly amazing. So much has happened in our corps in recent months. In September we began having a Salvation Meeting again. It has been a long time since we have had to have a Sunday evening meeting. Our territorial leadership set a mandate to begin these services a while back. We decided to begin them in September of 2006.

We have three corps in our county and an ARC. All of us join together every Sunday evening to celebrate Jesus and to preach the gospel. This meeting is focused around salvation. We expect that those who are unsaved will be in the meeting. Believe it or not, every week we have someone who does not know the Lord come to the meeting.

Last week we had 79 in the meeting. The altar was packed with those who felt the Lord tugging on their hearts and lives were won for HIM.

We also have a county Bible Bowl team and practices are held on Sunday afternoons at 4:30 pm, prior to the Salvation Meeting. That has been such an experience for the kids. The corps are three VERY different corps, with VERY different types of kids. By God's grace they have bonded and it has been a tremendous blessing to see the Summit County kids hanging out together at divisional events. I bring the kids up because on Sunday evening as I looked around our chapel I realized how God was working in them - the kids.

Every week these kids see the grace of God at work. They hear the testimonies of the guys who are new to the ARC program and have been saved. They hear the guys praising God for one more day of sobriety. They watched as a gentleman who has lived as a woman for the last 20 years was saved, and literally overnight went back to living and looking like a man (and they rejoiced with him in this change). They see the homeless guy who was picked up out of the park the night before sitting in our service. AMAZING GRACE is played out for them each and every week. Think of the impact God is making on their young lives!!

On Sunday night I sat behind three eight year old boys: an african american, a caucasion, and a puerto-rican. They giggled and talked through the whole service (quietly of course). Let's talk about racial reconciliation! God is AMAZING!

Time

2007-01-02T12:31:00.000-08:00

It is a new year already. The older I get the more I realize that time passes quickly. I have been helping my son with a timeline of his life. Though he is only eight years old, he has quite a bit he'd like to put into this timeline.

I sat down with him and have gone through many old photos. The photos were instant reminders of times past and of a future that is coming very quickly. Before long, my house will be empty of children and probably pets too. In all honesty, it makes me a bit sad.

Why does time seem to go so much quicker when we are adults? As a kid I just wanted to grow up. Now I wish I could go back to my younger years.

I think as we age we realize that there is much that we would like to accomplish in our time on earth with very little time to do so. I sometimes wonder if we go overboard with our own desires for accomplishments rather than spending our moments pondering and asking God what He'd like us to accomplish.

I constantly preach to people that they have a purpose in this life and that God has a plan for them as individuals, a plan that will help HIM to carry out HIS will on earth through them. I am a believer in that philosophy.

The trouble comes when WE try to figure out that plan and more of OUR plans get in the mix than HIS plans.

Maybe the answer, if there is an answer, is to enjoy the time God gives us. Enjoy and marvel in THIS day! Maybe at any age we should be living in the present rather than constantly dwelling on the past or trying to change our future. Maybe if we did that with gratefulness in our hearts, time would not be such an issue with some of us. Something for me to think about on this day!!

A DAY IN THE LIFE...

2006-11-20T17:48:00.000-08:00

Today I spent my day at home with a sick child. It was a blessing in disguise. I have been tremendously busy the last few months. In the last 10 days we have conducted a Community Awards Luncheon/Kettle Kick-off (180 people), began a kettle campaign that has to raise $450,000.00, did a corps Thanksgiving Dinner (200 people), and busily bought hundreds of gifts for people in our community. Today I spent the day with my sick daughter wrapping those gifts.

On the docket for this week is finding volunteers to work at our Angel Tree table in the Mall. It has to be manned the entire time the mall is open. Of course I have nobody to do the early shift the day after Thanksgiving, so I will be there at 6:00am and work until 10:00am. I also have to purchase gifts for all of our employees (about 40). Jim and I committed to buying gifts (rather than giftcards) so that we could add a personal touch.... quite a task. I have an advent devotional to write, a chapel to decorate, an employee party to plan, an advisory board party to plan, and of course the morning worship services. Most of this has to be done in the next 10 days, then I get to begin on a new list of "to do's" for weeks 2-4 in December.

In all honesty, I am shot! I love what I am doing though. I have desperately tried to stay in the Word and look to those little interuptions in the season as blessings rather than annoyances. There are a million things that have to be done, and I still have to be there and prepared to deal with broken people. These broken people can be considered interuptions in my life of "to do's", yet the reality is that they are the things that keep me going. I am good at business. I can handle all the things I mentioned before. I can do most of the professional things an officer must do. I cannot handle all the brokenness though... only God can. So I sit back and let God bring me those things that cause me to pause and get stressed out a bit, the interuptions, because I know that I cannot handle these things without Him and His power.

I've been reading Philip Yancey's new book on Prayer. I have only been able to do two to three pages a day as of late, but I'm hanging in there. I came across a prayer that I'd like to share.

A Franciscan Benediction

May God bless you with discomfort
At easy answers, half-truths, and superficial relationships
So that you may live deep within your heart.

May God bless you with anger
At injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people,
So that you may work for justice, freedom and peace.

May God bless you with tears
To shed for those who suffer pain, rejection, hunger and war,
So that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and
To turn their pain to joy.

And may God bless you with enough foolishness
To believe that you can make a difference in the world,
So that you can do what others claim cannot be done
To bring justice and kindness to all our children and the poor.

Amen

Why God Made Little Boys

2006-10-19T08:31:00.000-07:00

This Sunday is Adventure Corps Sunday at our corps. I have the wonderful opportunity to deliver God's Word to our congregation.

I have spent the last few days thinking about little boys. Little boys are very different from little girls! I know that is an understatement.

I came across this poem as I have been preparing for my sermon.

Why God Made Little Boys

GOD MADE A WORLD OUT OF HIS DREAMS,

Of magic mountains, oceans and streams,

Prairies and plains and wooded land.

Then paused and thought, "I need someone to stand,

On top of the mountains, to conquer the seas,

Explore the plains and climb the trees.

Someone to start out small and grow,

Sturdy and stong like a tree" and so

He created boys, full of spirit and fun

To explore and conquer, to romp and run.

With dirty faces and banged up chins,

With courageous hearts and boyish grins.

And when He completed the task He'd begun,

He surely said, "That's a job well done."

(author unknown)

I have a new appreciation for my son in recent days. He is growing so fast both physically and intellectually. He is seeing life and figuring out his place in the world. He is doing so well.

In all honesty, I wasn't sure I would be a good mom to a boy. I was very nervous about having a son. You don't really get much choice in the matter though, and praise the Lord for that. I don't know where I'd be without my little boy. He has truly taught me to laugh and to find the joy in life.

I know someday he will be a man. A part of me looks forward to that day when I can see who he becomes. Another part of me has already started to grieve for the little boy who is quickly disappearing. I thank God daily for him and today in particular I entrust my son into the hands of the Lord once again.

Rambling Thoughts & Emotions

2006-09-11T13:02:00.000-07:00

The following post is simply my rambling thoughts for the day. A lot of emotions have surfaced today and I just felt like writing them all down. Sorry if I offend anyone. (Quite scary when you have to put a disclaimer at the beginning of a post!!)

Homeschooling vs. Public Education
I 've always received comments from people, officers in particular, about me being a Salvation Army officer that homeschooled my children. There were few people who understood how I managed to do all that I did. I no longer homeschool. Let me tell you, I have less time for the Army now that I am a "normal" officer than when I homeschooled. My hours are shorter and I get called away from meetings more now that the kids are in school. That's just a side note that I wanted to mention because again today I was called to school to collect my sick child!

The Army
I am so grateful that God has called me to ministry. I am equally grateful that He has called me to serve in The Salvation Army. I love Jesus with all of my heart. My goal in life is not to build The Army, but to build An Army that will battle against the sin and death in my community and lift Jesus up as their Savior. This is a heavy responsibility that I do not take lightly.

I often get frustrated when I listen to or read about all of the "great ideas" that will make the Army better... or shall I say change the Army into a different vessel of ministry. I struggle today with how the ministry of loving people as Jesus did, needs to be changed and completely overhauled. I don't get it. I don't see why so much time is spent on "fixing" the perceived brokenness of the Army and it's systems. I would think if time were to be spent on anything, it should be spent on how we can win more souls for the kingdom. Instead we debate! Maybe some of the intellectuals out there can help me understand this whole thing better.

9/11/01
The real reason for my post has to do with 9/11. This has been a bummer of a day. I participated in a Community Service this afternoon. It went well, yet my heart has been hurting all day as I remember and relive the horrible events of 9/11/01. Every American has a different story regarding that day. Every American has difficult feelings regarding that day. I would venture to say that like me, those feelings are still very raw. So raw, that I don't want to talk or write about them just now. I just know that every day that I put my children on the school bus I wonder if anything will happen to them that day. As I watch protesters of the war downtown, I wonder if they will still be around protesting if my son or daughter should go off to war someday. I wonder what villian will be America's enemy when my son is of age to fight for this country. I wonder if my kids will have the opportunity to live out their dreams or if they will live in fear in the years to come. I don't want to wonder anymore. Thing is, I wonder more today, five years after that horrific event, than I ever have. Maybe I've realized that uncertainity and anticipation are now a part of our permanent American psyche.

Blessing to you on this day of Remembrance!

Worms Galore

2006-09-09T17:40:00.001-07:00

We took our lovely children to see the movie "HOW TO EAT FRIED WORMS" last weekend. I remember reading the book as a kid and I absolutely loved it. In all honesty the movie was cute but a bit gross. You'd think by this point in motherhood I could handle all that is gross and disgusting.

After the movie I verbalized to my children that worms were not that bad and that I could eat one if I wanted. I am a big "Survivor" and "Fear Factor" junkie. I've convinced myself that I could win "Survivor" because of my personality (not my physique of course). I can be really sweet, but at the same time I can read people well. I can also manipulate ( a characteristic from my pre-Christian days). I also believe that through the will of the mind I could eat gross things. Although the blood balls wrapped in pigs intenstines that are used on Fear Factor may be a bit much for me to sink my teeth into.

My kids tried to test me at our Annual Family Labor Day picnic. They found worms for dessert! I refused to eat one. Without notice my eight year old son grabbed one and swallowed it. The entire family about died. Jimmy is a shy kid who NEVER does things like eating worms. As our daughter Emily put it, "Jimmy just became a boy"! It wasn't long after that Emily (0ur 10 year old) ate her worm.

I was stunned at first by the actions of my children. I then had a sense of pride and a bit of joy (silly, I know). They are so comfortable and free. They love to laugh and have fun. They are so confident in who they are as people. That is exactly what being a kid is all about.

I see kids everyday who have had their childhood stolen away from them. They live in fear, with no sense of self-confidence or joy. They have no stability or sense of security about their lives. I praise God that my kids can be kids. I praise Him that they enjoy the life He has given them. I praise Him for instilling confidence in each of them. I also praise Him that He has given me this ministry in which I can be a mom to those children who need a bit of their childhood back. God is amazing...worms and all!

2006-07-06T12:45:00.000-07:00

It has been surprising to me that so many people share such intimate thoughts and feelings on their blog sites. I share, but never felt compelled to share too much. I say this because, for some odd reason, I do feel compelled to lay it all out there today!

I have had a vast array of feelings and thoughts since arriving in this new appointment. A part of me thought that this was way over my head. Another part thought that this appointment would be a piece of cake...humility at its best, I know!

I realized today, that I cannot be anyone but myself. I may not be as "good" as the last guy... I may be "better". Either way, all that matters is that I am myself. God wants to use me. That is an amazing thought if you think about it.... God wants to use me! (He wants to use you too, by the way!)

I woke up tense today knowing that I had a United Way meeting. I ended my afternoon blessed, because I know God had me walk into our soup kitchen yesterday and meet a particular person who needed someone. I spoke with one of his family members today and she said she has been praying for someone (me) to come along side her loved one. God used me and my husband as an answer to prayer that was sent up by someone in New England. Praise God for that one!

Today, I felt at home! I know I am supposed to be here in this appointment. In all honesty, I had my doubts in recent weeks, but praise God that He is in control and His plans are exact and perfect.

Countdown

2006-06-20T13:31:00.000-07:00

The countdown has started. In three days I will be leaving this appointment and moving to a new one.

The "lasts" have started. I had my "last" opening day of camp this week. I've finished up my "last" USDA forms this week. My husband preached his "last" sermon as a DYCS on Sunday. We had our "last" staff meeting a few nights ago. I placed my "last" food order today. I left my quarters (in Strongsville) for the "last" time yesterday. In all of these "lasts", I have come to find that I hate "lasts".

I never imagined how difficult this move would be. I am emotionally shot.... that is probably a bit dramatic, I know. These kids/young adults are absolutely amazing and I cannot imagine not seeing them and working with them on a daily, or at least regular basis. They have such potential and I just want others to see that potential in them and exploit that potential. I don't want a single child, teen or young adult to be "overlooked". I want each of them to explode into God's will for their lives. To know that I will not have that constant presence in their lives to encourage them and guide them is distressing. I know I will still be around the division. I know God will bring new people my way. I know that God will use me in new ways. Still, you wonder about those that you must leave behind.

So, enough of the pity party. I am happy about the fact that God directs my paths and my appointments. I am thrilled to have a corps ministry again as well. Most people have told me that I won't have the time I think to put into the corps because of the area coordinator stuff, but I will make time. The area services exists after all to support the corps and resource the corps. God is good and will surely use our family to bring new disciples to Him.

I must go and clean, clean, clean. I have to finish our camp house within the next 24 hours.

Please pray for us over these three days. Please pray for our successors as well. It is going to be a wild week!!!

Blessings to all!

Cool Concept

2006-06-02T20:58:00.000-07:00

This is going to be a short post because I am really tired tonight and it is almost midnight.

I came across this quote in one of my emails this evening. I thought it was a good one and that I should share it with you.

"Remember, when you were made a leader you weren't given a crown, you were given a responsibility to bring out the best in others. For that, your people need to trust you. And they will, as long as you demonstrate candor, give credit, and stay real."

Jack Welsh - American Camping Association

I personally like the "stay real" part.

These kids are a few of our first Grace Team members (six summers ago). They are not only the future of the Army, they are the "NOW" of the Army. They are OUR responsibility. When I read that quote, I thought of them. Be real today and find their potential ... they need that from us.

I love to laugh

2006-05-31T19:46:00.000-07:00

One of my all time favorite songs is from Mary Poppins. It is called "I love to laugh". When I start cracking up about something, this song always comes to mind. Take a look at the lyrics...

I love to laugh (Ha, ha, ha, ha)
Loud and long and clear
I love to laugh (Ho, ho, ho, ho)
It's getting worse ev'ry year

The more I laugh (Ha, ha, ha, ha)
The more I fill with glee
And the more the glee (Ho,ho, ho, ho)
The more I'm a merrier me
It's embarrassing!
The more I'm a merrier me!

Some people laugh through their noses
Sounding something like this "Mmm..."
Some people laugh through their teeth goodness sake
Hissing and fizzing like snakes

Some laugh too fast
Some only blast - ha!
Others, they twitter like birds
Then there's the kind
What can't make up their mind

When things strike me as funny
I can't hide it inside
And squeak - as the squeakelers do
I've got to let go with a ho-ho-ho...
And a ha-ha-ha...too!

The average child laughs 150 times a day. The average adult laughs 15 times a day. This isn't just my amazing knowledge... I got this from a study done at the University of Michigan. Somewhat sad statistics don't you think?

I also read that laughter aids in digestion. Yes, you read that correctly... it aids in digestion. So around your dinner table make sure that you joke a bit with the ones you love.

My favorite part of the song is the last stanza. So to all of my blogger friends out there... when something strikes you as funny, don't hide it inside... bust your gut with laughter. Be loud with joy!

Proverbs 17:22 says "A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones." I really like how The Message phrases this verse, " A cheerful disposition is good for your health; gloom and doom leave you bone-tired."

Enjoy your day and find something to laugh about... it's good for you! There is always something in every day that you can smile at or laugh about.

Sad Moments

2006-05-27T18:21:00.000-07:00

Today a sad moment came to mind.

I drove to the regional/territorial Bible Bowl playoffs at Camp Longpoint. It is about a five hour drive each way, so I had ALOT of thinking time. There were moments as I reflected on my current appointment and simply could do nothing but laugh. It has been an absolutely amazing and wonderful appointment.

Then came the tears, realizing that things are going to quickly change. I think of all the wonderful young people who have been used by God to change me. I think of all those teens who have allowed me to see the reality of true faith, grace, mercy, love, compassion, laughter, joy, and hope. I am so much better off for being able to have been a part of this appointment. I realize it has been my job to minister to the youth of the division, but the reality is that I have been ministered to by each of them. I have grown closer to the Lord because of the young people of NEOSA. That of course is not sad at all!

Life goes on and things will be fine. I will continue to grow in new ways in my faith and in my walk with the Lord. I am very excited about all the newness of our new appointment and know that I will experience the same joys and moments there too.

All of this isn't even what I would have considered the "sad moment" for which I titled this post. What made me sad was that I counted 14 officers kids from this division alone that were being affected in this move cycle. 14 kids are being taken from what they know as "home" and being sent with their parents on their way. I know 1 1/2 of my kids are okay with the move (Emily is the 1/2 depending on her mood each day). My son (age 8) actually appeared to accept the news gracefully. We found him about 10 minutes later hiding in his room crying. He doesn't remember our last move, seeing that he was only 2. All he sees is that he won't be with his friends from camp anymore and that he won't have his "boys only, password protected club house" that he and his dad built. These are sad moments for them.

Please pray for all of the officer's kids. Some are going as far away as Puerto Rico. These are difficult and scary days for them. The Lord will protect them, but they are walking into a whole new life in a lot of respects.

God's Word to Me

2006-05-24T07:39:00.000-07:00

I was given a verse by General Paul Rader upon my commissioning as a Salvation Army officer. It was taken from 2 Timothy 1:7, "For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline."

I actually found that verse several years before my commissioning. It was a verse that I memorized and leaned on heavily. I was (and still am) a bit shy and quiet. The whole concept of God not wanting me to be timid in my faith and service to Him stuck with me.

Commissioning can be quite intimidating. When the General ordained me and spoke that particular verse I knew it was God's reassurance that I would be okay if I just leaned on Him.

In recent days I received farewell orders from the appointment I have been in for the last 5 1/2 years. In all honesty, when I received my new appointment I was fine and didn't feel any pressure. I still don't feel the overwhelming need to "check things out" and see what I will be doing. I do know though, now that I have actually had a moment to catch my breath and reflect, that I will face aspects of Army work and ministry that I have never experienced. I realize that I will be stretched. I realize that I am going to be both changed and challenged by this next appointment. I realize that I will need that Word from God now more than ever..."For God did not give YOU, Sue B, a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline."

I praise you Lord for searching me and knowing me. I praise you for knowing my actions and my thoughts. I praise you for knowing all of my ways. I praise you for knowing exactly what I need, when I need it, and where I need to be to both grow as your child and to be used by you to minister to others. Amen.

Song #205

2006-05-19T06:09:00.000-07:00

Lt. Colonel LaMarr gave a devotional on Wednesday and used this particular song from our Salvation Army song book. I was so blessed by the words. This is my prayer for today and everyday.

Blessed Lamb of Calvary,

Let thy Spirit fall on me:

Let the cleansing, healing flow

Wash and keep me white as snow,

That henceforth my life may be

Bright and beautiful for thee.

Burn out every selfish thought,

Let thy will in me be wrought,

Fan my love into a flame,

Send a pentecostal rain,

That henceforth my life may be

Spent in winning souls for thee.

Teach me how to fight and win

Perfect victory over sin;

Give me a compassion deep,

That will for lost sinners weep,

That henceforth my life may prove

That I serve thee out of love.

Barbara Stoddart (1865-1915) SASB

>I praise God that He is giving me a renewed desire to serve Him and those He loves. I pray that in coming days I walk in His strength and through His courage so that "my life may prove that I serve HIM out of love."

Priorities

2006-05-17T05:53:00.000-07:00

"Whoever welcomes one of these little children in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me does not welcome me but the one who sent me. But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large milestone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.

See that you do not look down on one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven.

What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go look for the one that wandered off? And if he finds it, I tell you the truth, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off. In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should be lost."

Mt. 18:5,6, 10-14

Mk. 9:3637, 42

Lk. 17:2,3a

I read this passage several weeks ago for my devotions. It has stuck with me. I have lived by these words regarding children for years. I remember as a kid thinking that I had to stay true to God and not let the sin my parents were enticed with sway me. I feared that if I would go astray, they would be totally condemned.

The part that really stands out to me now is the part I highlighted in red. "In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should be lost." It is my responsibility to guide the young and keep them close to God. I think of those that refuse to pick kids up for church because their parents should be bringing the kids on a Sunday. We don't want to enable them or become a babysitting service after all! I think about those really bad kids we come across at the corps... the ones we typically end up kicking out of the program. I think about the lice kids that we ban from the corps until they are clean again, which they never get cleaned because their home is invested too.

I am challenged today to go after that one that is "lost", whether they are bad, have lice, or live out of our range of pick-ups. I pray God constantly reminds me of this verse in the coming months and years that I live and minister.

2006-05-16T09:14:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had those times in your life when you just feel numb?

I feel like I do not have the capacity to function in life at the moment. I have so many things on the table that I don't know where to begin in order to get moving and get organized.

I am not trying to be negative. I am just experiencing a time where I am going in a million directions and when I take the time to evaluate, I realize that I am a bit lost. I don't have a plan... this proves difficult for someone who lives each day with a plan.

So enough with the pity party... the Cavs won, and for a moment, who cares if I have a plan!!

2006-05-05T07:03:00.000-07:00

We had our Youth Councils last weekend. I pretty much cried through the entire event. Our kids in NEOSA are AMAZING!!! They partipate in 90% of the meetings. They do everything from the prayers to the sacred dances to the camera work. Sometimes I feel bad because we don't really use the special guests from THQ very much. Our thought is that if the weekend is for the kids then they need to be the ones participating in the worship experience as much as possible.

The dramas we do run throughout the weekend. They all relate to the theme. The drama on Sunday was amazing. It dealt with Satan being briefed by a demon. This demon was trying to destroy the "walk" of a young man all weekend. In the drama the young man was praying and Satan and the demon were talking about what they could do. I really can't explain the entire thing but it ended with the young man standing and kicking Satan while dancing in a dance he was doing. Three of our young people were doing this dance when all of a sudden groups of kids from the division came up and stood at the front as a sign that they were willing to be part of the Revolution for Christ. To see our kids up there was just too much for me. I have never felt so secure in knowing that the fight for souls would go on as I did when I saw our kids (probably 30 of them) standing up there in different poses. They were all part of the drama, but knowing that those kids believed it was remarkable to me.

God has blessed me so much. My heart hurts for some of these kids, but at the same time I have such joy in knowing that many are totally commited to Christ. Please pray for NEOSA. I know that these kids are making a difference.

My Family

2006-04-19T06:13:00.000-07:00

I am feeling a bit sentimental this morning and thought I'd post some photos of my lovely family. Children are a heritage and will be my legacy in life (at least part of my legacy). I am so proud of each of them. They are growing quickly.

My son will be eight tomorrow...WOW. I remember the day I gave birth to Jimmy. I told my husband at 5:30 PM that we needed to get to the hospital because I was ready to have a baby. Jim told me to hold on a few minutes because he wanted to finish mowing the lawn. I was furious but in too much pain to argue. He finished about 20 minutes later. The hospital was only a few minutes away. I arrived at 6:05 PM. I had Jimmy at 6:30 PM. He would have come the moment I arrived at the hospital but they made me hold off on pushing because the doctor hadn't arrived. His birth and the labor was so easy compared to what some people go through. I didn't even start having contractions until around lunch time that day. God knew I had a low tolerance for pain!!!

Praise God for my son! Praise God for my girls as well! Praise God for my family!

New to Blogger

2006-04-01T12:06:00.000-08:00

I have finally decided to get a blog site.... I am not even sure if that is what you call it! I have spent the last several months reading the postings and comments of others and finally feel that I am "in control" enough to have my own site. I say that because I can be very passionate about topics and would never want to "rant and rave" about issues and subjects that I really have not investigated. Sometimes passions run wild and thats when you can get into trouble.

I will put some thoughts down periodically and my hope is ultimately that I grow as a Christian and that someone may come across my writings and catch a glimpse of Jesus in a way that is beneficial to them. I pray that Christ is glorified in all that is written within this blog.